


the charge of the soul

by Elri



Category: Dead Poets Society (1989)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, First Kiss, Fix-It, Love Confessions, M/M, Spontaneous Acts of Courage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-12 21:02:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21482803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elri/pseuds/Elri
Summary: Todd knows that people don't listen to him, but in this one moment he's going to try anyways.
Relationships: Todd Anderson/Neil Perry
Comments: 18
Kudos: 212





	the charge of the soul

**Author's Note:**

> While waiting on fix-it fics for another fandom I came up with this idea for one of my old faves
> 
> Title is from "I sing the body electric" by good old Uncle Walt

Todd stood and watched as Neil was led away by his father, feeling his heart and throat constrict as all of his anxiety started swelling up inside of him. It had all been going so well, and now everything was going wrong. All the worries that he’d had when Neil had first brought up just the idea of doing the play, the worries that he’d pushed aside because he loved seeing how happy Neil was, he’d been right.

He’d never wanted to be wrong so much in his life.

And the worst part was that, even though he’d seen this coming in the most scared parts of his mind, he’d never been able to come up with a solution. There was nothing he could do. Neil was stronger than he was and even Neil couldn’t stand up to Mr. Perry. Not even Charlie, Nuwanda himself, seemed to have any ideas. What the hell could Todd do?

The wind picked up slightly, as though trying to push him towards Neil, and with it came words urging him on. _Screw your courage to the sticking place_.

He ran forward, ignoring the surprised shouts of his friends behind him, ignoring his captain calling his name, barely stumbling when he hit a snow patch. Todd kept his eyes on Neil and just sprinted.

“Neil! Hi! Glad I caught you. That was amazing it was absolutely incredible I don’t know how you do it especially with everything else that you’ve been doing I mean wow,” As Todd just let his mouth ramble on he looked between Neil and Mr. Perry, “I mean I’m sure you know sir but it’s just amazing to me that he was able to do the play while keeping up with all of his school stuff I mean he has just been giving 110% and the fact that he played _Puck_, the biggest part in the play with all of those lines, I sure couldn’t have done it and I don’t think I know anyone else who could have. You know my brother Jeffrey, Jeffrey Anderson, he was good at the school stuff but I don’t think even he would have been able to do a play too and you know colleges just eat that kind of stuff up they love extra curriculars and having a member of the community as a reference is a really awesome opportunity I can’t tell you how jealous I am right now.”

Todd turned his attention fully back to Neil, taking a breath, “Congrats again Neil, you really showed off the best of Welton tonight.” Maybe that was laying it on a little thick but he had to give it everything he got. “Well anyways I should probably get back to the group, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow Neil. Good night Mr. Perry, nice seeing you again.”

Without giving them a chance to respond, Todd turned and headed back to Keating and the others, fighting down the instinct to just flee. He was grateful for the fact that the cold was already turning his cheeks red because he could feel himself blushing at the way they were all staring at him. Knox, Meeks, Pitts, and Cameron were just looking at him in shock, completely caught off-guard by his very un-Todd-like actions. Charlie was giving him this look somewhere between a smirk and pride. Keating was looking at him the same way he had when Todd had finished his poem, like he’d already known that Todd had it in him, and was happy to see it come out.

“I tried,” Was all Todd managed to say.

“I think you set a personal record for most words said in a single sentence,” Charlie joked, easing the tension.

“What if-“

Keating interrupted, “Whatever happens, you did what you could, and that’s all we can ever hope to do. Come on boys, we should get back.”

Todd wasn’t sure he was going to be able to sleep that night, but he must have at some point because the next thing he knew he was being woken up by someone softly saying his name.

“Todd? Todd. Come on I know it’s early but wake up.”

“F’ve m’re m’nts.”

“Todd!” This time it was accompanied by the person shaking his shoulder.

Todd opened his eyes and turned to see Neil looking down at him. “Neil!” He only just remembered to keep his voice down as he sat up and turned to face his roommate, “You’re here! What happened with your dad? Is everything okay?”

“Easy Todd,” Neil said, laughing a little as he sat down on his own bed to look at Todd, “Yeah, yeah it’s okay. He was super quiet the whole ride back, and then when we got home my mom was waiting for us. Then he started talking about me risking everything for some spontaneous fancy about acting and wondering if Welton wasn’t ‘disciplined’ enough for me.”

“What did you tell him?”

“I told him I needed to tell him how I felt.”

“And did you?”

“I almost didn’t. But then I figured that if you can face your fears, I can face mine. I told him that I was challenging myself to be more disciplined, that I was putting myself to the test of the Welton principles. Henley Hall is part of the tradition of the community, Shakespeare’s plays are some of the most highly honored literary works, it takes a lot of discipline to maintain my academic and extracurricular responsibilities, and my success demonstrates the excellence of Welton’s students.”

“So you lied.”

“I exaggerated, but it worked. There’s no way he would have understood what I really felt. He saw me up on that stage, but he still didn’t really see me. So I kept playing the part of the dutiful son.”

Todd gave Neil a crooked smile, “You’re unbelievable.”

Neil grinned back, “Thanks. You were pretty unbelievable yourself. I mean, ‘showing off the best of Welton’? I didn’t realize my father could be such a sucker.”

“I mean,” Todd shrugged, “It’s not totally untrue. You’re pretty amazing, Neil, but Welton has nothing to do with that. It’s all you.”

Neil just looked at Todd for a long moment, the early morning sunlight sprinkling gold into his hair and eyes. “I’m really glad you’re here, Todd,” He finally said, “You are the best thing about this place.”

“I mean-“ With Neil’s full attention on him, Todd started to get flustered. “I’m, I’m just me. You, you’re you, you’re-“

“Todd,” Neil interrupted, getting up and walking over, “There’s nothing wrong with ‘just’ you. _You_ write poems that take the air out of the room, _you_ stood up to my father, _you, _Todd Anderson,” He leaned down and pressed his head against Todd’s, “You made people listen.”

Todd stared up into Neil’s eyes, ignoring the crick in his neck from the odd angle. _Carpe diem_. He tilted his head up and pressed his lips against Neil’s. The response was almost instant as Neil moved to straddle Todd’s lap and brought his hands up to hold Todd’s face. It didn’t last long but when they broke the kiss Neil pressed his head to Todd’s again, grinning madly.

“Definitely the best,” he said.

“Shut up,” Todd replied with no heat, blushing.

“No.”

“No?”

“No.”

Todd moved to kiss Neil again but was interrupted by a knock on the door followed by Charlie’s voice, “Todd? Are you up yet? Have you heard from Neil?”

“I’m going to kill him,” Todd muttered. Neil just smiled and gave him a quick peck on the lips before getting up to answer the door. Todd was sure he probably had a goofy grin on his face but he couldn’t be bothered to care.


End file.
